Breaking a Habit
by The Dead Soul
Summary: Rogue, Suicide, Songfic, Linkin Park. Read&Review!


Disclaimer: If I owned the X-men, I'd be very rich, and wouldn't waste my time on writing fanfics...

Hey, if you've already read this fic, let me explain: Lately I've been pulling together me 'many personalities' so here it is. It was originally written by someone named 'LoNeLy RoGuE'.

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**I'm breaking a habit tonight**  
  
It was Christmas time at the Institute. Every X-men has left to spend some time with their families, except Charles Xavier, Hank McCoy, Scott Summers, and Rogue.  
  
Rogue sat on the edge of her bed, placed in the corner of the empty room. No Kitty's clothes on the floor, no Kitty's make-up laying around, no Kitty's CDs on Kitty's bed, just darkness, and loneliness.  
  
She needed some time alone, to remember last Christmas, when she and Scott had that adventure with Warren, the angel. Then they were friends. They were very close friends. Now everything has changed.  
  
Now he and Jean are 'officially' a couple, and they spend most of their time together. Jean Gray, the perfect redheaded girl, every guy's dream, separated them. There were no more heart-to-heart talks between them, and Scott began to ignore her.  
  
He was the only friend she had. He listened to her, and she opened up to him. She was always happy when he was near her. But now everything has changed. Now her best friend is in love, and she should be happy for him, not be jealous! Wait, she wasn't jealous! ... really?! Then why did she wish Jean was dead? Why did she want to kill Jean so badly, if it wasn't the fault of jealousy?  
  
The truth is, she WAS jealous, but she wasn't ready to admit it.  
  
Rogue got up, started walking towards Kitty's stereo, took the closest CD (which happened to be Linkin Park's newest album, Meteora), and turned the volume to maximum. She lay on her bed, and started thinking about last Christmas.  
  
She could only catch a few pieces of Linkin Park's songs, and thought 'That's why I love this band, everything they say fits me so well...'

The lyrics she remembered were:  
  
_"Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well  
  
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself  
  
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know  
  
Somehow I need to be alone"_

_"So I let go watching you  
  
Turn your back like you always do  
  
Face away and pretend that I'm not,  
  
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got"_

_"Hearing your name the memories come back again_

_I remember when it started happening  
  
I'd see you in every thought I had and then  
  
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them  
  
And I knew as they escaped away I was committed myself to them  
  
And every day I regret those things"_

But ONE song caught her attention entirely. The song, she agreed with so much.

That was her favorite. It began:  
  
_"Memories consume, like opening the wound  
  
I'm picking me apart again  
  
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room  
  
Unless I try to start again"_  
  
'Why is my life so miserable? It couldn't be because of my powers, cause I didn't have a lovely life before it started to happen? What caused all this unluckiness to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?  
  
_"I don't want to be the one the battles always choose  
  
'Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused"_  
  
Now she was walking all around her room, thinking.  
  
'It's like I don't know anything anymore. All these questions are unanswered, and that's why I live a miserable life. No-one could answer these questions, and nobody can help me.'  
  
_"I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream_

_I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit  
  
Tonight"_  
  
She walked to the window, and watched the peaceful sunset, still thinking. 'I don't want to live like this anymore. I wish I was dead. If I did something bad to deserve this kind of life, why not punish me with death?' She knew what she had to do.  
  
_"Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door  
  
I try to catch my breath again  
  
I hurt much more, than anytime before  
  
I had no options left again"_  
  
She walked towards her nightstand, and pulled out a drawer. She took out a pocket-knife she used to take on camping trips.  
  
_"I don't want to be the one the battles always choose  
  
'Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused"_  
  
She just stared at it for a few seconds, then started walking back to her bed. She sat down on the edge, and took off her glove. She took the knife into her right hand, and opened it.  
  
_"I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream  
  
I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit  
  
Tonight!"  
_  
She lay on her back, and tears ran down her cheeks. 'I have to do it!' she thought, and placed the point of the knife against heart, and took a deep breath. She just waited a few seconds for something that encouraged her.  
  
_"I'll paint it on the walls  
  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
  
I'll never fight again  
  
And this is how it ends"_  
  
That was what she needed. She pushed the knife harder against her chest, and repeated the last few words of the song, _'I'll never fight again, and this is HOW IT ENDS!'_ She screamed the last three words out loud, and killed herself. Finally all of her problems were over. She didn't have to worry about anything anymore. Every problem she had was over. Her life was over. The song continued, and Rogue lay on her bed dead, with eyes wide open, right hand on the knife, the bed sheets draining her from her warm blood.

_"I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream_

_But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the Habit, I'm breaking the Habit  
  
Tonight!"_  
  
A knock could be heard on the door, and Scott Summers stepped into the room.  
  
"Hey, Rogue! I..." At the sight of the no longer living Rogue on the red sheets soaked in blood, Scott froze, his eyes and mouth wide open. A lost teardrop found its way down his face from under his shades.

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That's the end, I hope you liked it. Anyway, please review. Flames are welcome, too. Thanks for reading! 


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